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you are not a true cellist until you can crawl all the way into the cello and play it from the inside

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you've got walt disney, disney land, disney land paris, and now disney plus! what's with all these disnies?!

it is annoying when I think I have something stuck in my teeth and I try and try to get it out but it turns out it is actually just my other teeth

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I am also into plastics now, and I am making plastic tubes that you can suck liquids through, kind of like my mosquito nose but used for different reasons. Hope you’re doing well at camp.

See you soon,

Mosquitor

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I could be buzzing all around you on a hot summer day and you wouldn’t even recognize me as your son-child, you would just think, “Get away mosquito.” From my point of view, you would be 3,000 dads because of the way I have designed the eyeballs. I might be saying “Dad it’s me, dad it’s me” but you wouldn’t be able to understand my language because of its buzzing.

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Dear Dad,

I have spent over 10 years and $94,000 putting together my mosquito costume, and now I am pleased to announce that I have become a mosquito. The costume is quite realistic and I have even attached bladders to the nose thing, so I can suck up liquids when I puncture them with my nose thing.

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Solidifying myself as a daycrew poster by moving to an earlier timezone

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going to hit you with the wii sports baseball bat which is capable of phasing through your body yet simultaneously causing enormous pain

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the truly deepest burn on Post Malone is just a JPEG of his face

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you don't need to remember passwords, if you type with enough confidence you can sign into anything you want

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Mambo No. 1 was written in 1923 and is almost unrecognizable compared to its modern counterpart. Instead of talking about Monica or Erica, Lou Bega I (1895-1959) instead wrote about having "A little bit of Myrtle in my life" and "A little bit of Agnes by my side". Additionally there were no references to "gin and juice" or "liquor stores" as prohibition had been in effect for 3 years at this point.

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*a large box with a crank sticking out of it stands before you. as you turn the crank, music plays...*

🎶 DA NA, DA NA, DA NA NA DA NA, DA NA, DA NA, DA NAAAAA NA, DA NA, DA NA, DA NA NA DA NA, *POP*! DAVID KOCH IS DEAD 🎶

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She looks like she's being interviewed about how her family was affected by the dog factory closing down

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jorts.horse

Unstoppable shitposting engine.