peptostate @peptostate@jorts.horse

just noticed that this new concrete/sound poetry generator I'm working on inadvertently produced some Captain Planet fanfiction

haha i know we joke guys but for real if theres any number of wolves inside you thats a medical emergency for you and the wolves

EXT. HOGWARTS - NIGHT

HARRY POTTER is vaping on the Hogwarts roof. On the walls beneath him, VOLDEMORT is crawling around menacingly.

VOLDEMORT: "Harree!"

HARRY: "WTF!"

VOLDERMORT (crawling to a completely different wall to mess with Harry's mind): "Hey! Harree!"

HARRY: "What?!"

VOLDEMORT: "Fuck you, Harree!"

HARRY: "No, fuck you!"

VOLDEMORT: "No Harree, you!"

Harry spits and goes back inside, giving the middle finger

VOLDEMORT: "Harree!"

#mastodev

If you want a picture of the future, imagine Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jesse Ventura standing face to face, with Arnold repeating the word "California" and Jesse repeating the world "Minnesota," forever.

How to know if you're mansplaining:

Kant believed that you have an absolute moral duty to like and share my posts

@em @peptostate she clicks a link
to check it out
sees all the n words he shouts

Duolingo just suggested I complete a lesson on feelings.
I don't need this from you right now, búho.

@chillallmen @peptostate she calls up her friends, they already know, and they're all subscribed to his youtube show

@peptostate now hes a twitch star, streaming from his apart

bringing my yugioh deck to the poker world championships. those fuckers won't know what hit em

my new bit is coming up with rhyming animal themed superheroes, like crocodile kyle and mohawk hawk

emailing myself

I'm the wife

the coward's game is chess. just fight

if she's your wife why is she stealing my house