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Imagine asking someone what their "goals" are and outing yourself as a dickhead so readily

I believe we're okay for now, but I noticed that "the toots" sounds worryingly similar to "the troops"

The responsibility to fix this matter falls upon the wretched troops, who must quit being imperialist troops, which would enable everybody else to enjoy their wholesome toots.

So, to our troops, I say: please do your moral duty and get cracking to fix this shit, you goddamn fucking coward troops.

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skinny white boys with full sleeves always be pointing at the people next to them in photos and looking confused

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Hello darkness my old friend
I’ve come to party rock again

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hey sorry if this sounds creepy but i think your teeth would taste like lego candy and id like to bite them all off by the roots and chew them up. i think u would look good without teeth, like a cute little body modification so it would be ok. Again sorry if this sounds creepy.

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My DNA results are in, and it turns out I do indeed have DNA!

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the J in jesus stands for photographic but nobody says jay-feg

I want to talk with your manager, walk with your manager, grunt and squeak and squawk with your manager

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i love u all. i love this community. i love that people feel safe sharing here. ur all beautiful humans who deserve good things and good relationships and love and joy and light.

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My mom just found out about the catacombs I've been using as my secret hideout and she's so pissed, you guys. She found all the chambers filled with bones she thought I had gotten rid of and she says we're gonna talk about this when dad gets home. Probably gonna get my phone taken away for a while

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hey. hey guys. don’t you hate it when you don’t have enough pockets to fit all the worms you’ve found on the ground? now that’s some relatable content right there folks. enjoy

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Theory: the whole "Bowser kidnaps peach and Mario has to rescue her" is the Mushroom Kingdom equivalent of professional wrestling

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I live in this chicken coop now. We can either live together in peace or you can go lay eggs somewhere else you little feathery BITCH

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jorts.horse

Horses can wear jorts too. [[THIS IS STILL A WORK IN PROGRESS]]