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the main thing I learn when we have Discourse is that society is really bad at categorization

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I was going to delete all my bad toots but I decided it would be faster to delete both of the good ones and claim I'm doing some anti-comedy shit with the rest

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just stumbling and tripping and repeatedly knocking over this bucket of various heart emojis, hoping my screwball antics can cheer y'all up briefly

Me to Eugen after I pronounce his name wrong so many times that he grabs a weapon

why on earth is the crowd in St Louis singing country roads

every time i see a robokink tag i read it as robotnik and wonder to myself "well whats that wacky ol eggman up to now?"

asking for money Show more

jack dorsey is elon musk’s picture of dorian gray

@Louisa @crumbleneedy I’m outside the house. You can hear me talking to the paramedics. “Yeah, it’s been like 2 hours now, probably,” I say.

Selfie ec Show more

Okay, so, uh, I was already at "I recognise certain aspects of myself in people's descriptions of autistic traits" but hello, good morning, Merry Christmas, this thread over on Twitter dot com describes so much of my day-to-day that it's -- yeah, I'm autistic.

🔗 :twitter:

@​sweetmercury@​ Uber, but for gamers

Hey fediverse has anyone out there got any experience with fires and/or burning? My kitchen is currently engulfed in flames and from everything I've read that's generally a pretty bad thing. I really need some help or advice about this. I've been trying to inhale all the smoke myself to stop it ruining my furniture but there's just too much and it's actually pretty hot.
Boosts would be appreciated, this might be a long shot but I'm sure someone else out there has had this problem too.

@Katie ladies, just a heads up that i'm a 5.5" (stretch) in the pants

hockey Show more

Little know fact that the F•R•I•E•N•D•S logo was representative of each character:

Ned (chandler)

these commercials for the kentucky derby that are full of partying celebs do not make me want to watch small men hit horses

madeline’s posts are so funny, i think they have arson crew energy

cars done - 375$ we don't have

between that and everything that's already overdrawn us and all the fucking rides everywhere for school we're so fucked

like holy shit i dunno what else to do
if you guys can boost or help?
anything helps at this point


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Unstoppable shitposting engine.