Pinned toot

the main thing I learn when we have Discourse is that society is really bad at categorization

Pinned toot

I was going to delete all my bad toots but I decided it would be faster to delete both of the good ones and claim I'm doing some anti-comedy shit with the rest

Pinned toot

just stumbling and tripping and repeatedly knocking over this bucket of various heart emojis, hoping my screwball antics can cheer y'all up briefly

*sitting bolt upright at 3 am*
funky kong can't melt steel beams

A Painting of a Banana Show more

Selfie Show more

boost this and I'll assign you an rpg trinket* until I can't think of any more trinkets**

* a simple item lightly touched by mystery

**as above, but plural

did I start with the punchline and work backwards? yes

but on the other hand, shut up

*blows a kiss into the air* for the fuckups

"this one's called A Sale at Old Navy," I say as I stumble into the room, my pants around my knees, "because my inexpensive jeans are now 50% off"

I don’t really have a clever caption, but here’s a selfie anyway (eye contact)

Selfie ec (ok, happy now ec-police) Show more

I know I've floated this idea before, but I want to keep it circulating: what if, instead of work, sleep

girlfriendposting, selfies, eye contact Show more

Good morning, read my thing. I'm going to boost repeatedly until you do, might as well get it over with

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Unstoppable shitposting engine.