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the main thing I learn when we have Discourse is that society is really bad at categorization

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I was going to delete all my bad toots but I decided it would be faster to delete both of the good ones and claim I'm doing some anti-comedy shit with the rest

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just stumbling and tripping and repeatedly knocking over this bucket of various heart emojis, hoping my screwball antics can cheer y'all up briefly

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all these headaches I get are a product of compressing my brain, I believe that this (due to boyle's law) will increase my genious levels exponentially

I will never download TikTok, like I need another app full of people being younger, prettier, and more talented than me, as IF

thinking about pulling a cespedes on my work day, just pack a bag, disappear, and stop answering messages

BLM rebellions 2020, Kansas meta, cops vs protestors, twitter + squarespace + gofundme links 

Found the bail fund.

Also linked from that tweet: A fundraiser for Project Justice ICT ( ) and one for Protest Pantry ICT ( ) if you happen to have the means to help those too.

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[mafia don voice] kiss the ring...kiss it...pucker up, joey clams...give it a little smoocherino

decimating my own Ass in the marketplace of ideas

@Louisa @tessaracked Fill My Ass With Brambles (Don’t Tell The Wind) by Sweet Wilbur & his Fashions in Music was poorly received

Starting "tenancy crisis centers" across the country and tricking landlords into coming there instead of eviction court. Haven't figured out what goes on inside yet, options range from struggle session to Sweeney Todd pie factory

oh yeah, evangelion rules, that's my favorite evolution of eevee

Sixteen candles
And then another sixteen
And then four more candles
That's enough for now

you've heard of netflix and chill, now here's 

hulu and fall asleep on the couch until restless leg syndrome wakes me up

@Laser @swirlz that’s called “hanging a lampshade on it”. It’s a trope in movies, where characters often place a lampshade over a turd on the floor to cover it up. I think. I’ve never seen a movie.

I had a headache all day so you're getting a concentrated dose of my bull shit tonight

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Unstoppable shitposting engine.