Pinned toot

the main thing I learn when we have Discourse is that society is really bad at categorization

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I was going to delete all my bad toots but I decided it would be faster to delete both of the good ones and claim I'm doing some anti-comedy shit with the rest

Pinned toot

just stumbling and tripping and repeatedly knocking over this bucket of various heart emojis, hoping my screwball antics can cheer y'all up briefly

The fridge story, alcohol ment, e.c. Show more

@j997922 hands in a carhartt jacket, spitting on the autoshop floor, taking a sip of a black coffee before imitating the noise my kia was making and having my voice crack partway through

selfie ec Show more

@Louisa argh, I'm sorry if I wear a lot of sense and I nailed it

if I were a cis white person, I would simply Listen To The People Who Are Affected By An Issue. rather than Forming My Own Opinion Based On What I Imagine The Issue Is Like

I'm babysitting tonight for some nice parents who want to go on date night so they can have some peace and quiet while they try to 69 in their car.

🎶 mr sandman
come catch these hands
put up your dukes
fight me like a man 🎶

Since turning off the SFW lock, the autocorrect for swiped words can be pretty alarming

Anyways it's almost the time of year to go to the orchard for some assholes

executive
function
disorder 🤝 headaches
making sure I get nothing done

it would be really cool to meet fedi friends. i live in #baltimore and i know all of like two people here but i wanna meet more folk who might have something in common with me

@burgin i only learned like a year ago that mormons used electricity

@j997922 friends i need to get into hijinks and your screams don’t matter

selling my soul to become a 150+ boost account by unblocking the blocked domains and catering to them in a single unfunny post that they will grin at like ugly yorkies that are trying to hide that they shat in the closet

Fun fact: each book scanned for the Internet Archive has a unique identifier, usually the title of the item, or its first 16 characters; the volume number, or 00 if there isn't one; and the first 4 characters of the author. So:

selfie, eye contact, boosts fine Show more

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jorts.horse

Unstoppable shitposting engine.