Pinned toot

the main thing I learn when we have Discourse is that society is really bad at categorization

Pinned toot

I was going to delete all my bad toots but I decided it would be faster to delete both of the good ones and claim I'm doing some anti-comedy shit with the rest

Pinned toot

just stumbling and tripping and repeatedly knocking over this bucket of various heart emojis, hoping my screwball antics can cheer y'all up briefly

johnny appleseed is lauded for spreading apple seeds wherever he went, but I do the same thing by eating apples and then pooping all over the city, and I'm "disgusting" and "a felon"

no one should ever be younger than I am, I'll just die as quickly as possible through bad decisions

What I would really love for my birthday is about 387 more followers

adding "tulpa" to the list of words I've looked up multiple times but the definition will not stay in my head

every time I think "some kind of flower?" until the context reminds me that's definitely not the case

im obsessed with this advert from the back of a magazine

"I shouldn't be feeling this" is always completely the wrong foot to start off on because, like, whether or not you *should* be feeling this, you are? it's not optional? there's no key to turn it off, not really, you can only ignore it (where it will continue to affect you without your awareness).

try this: "I am feeling this. What now?"

it's not fun when my neighbor's dog lets out a mournful wail every five minutes or so but somehow my neighbor yelling "shut UP!" each time is much worse

Noticing a worrying trend on here where people that make funny posts are also physically attractive. Just want to let you know that's not allowed and you only get to pick one you selfish fucks.

oh, this is a very bad omen... someone forgot to take the "how to play poker" card out of this deck

If you're looking for me

You better check under the sea

cus that is where you'll find me

Underneath the SEALAAAB, underneath the water

SEALAAB at the very bottom of the

SEALAAAAB

sealab posting Show more

sealab posting Show more

why, yes, I have had some drinks and I'm just quoting sealab endlessly, why do you ask

Show more
jorts.horse

Unstoppable shitposting engine.