captain of the gravy train🐷 @pig@jorts.horse

ah! I crave death,,,

revolutionizing the danish market (derogatory)

me, every time I read "pizza demon": what the fuck is that

imagining various glops and sludges

drawing the blinds and putting on a fake mustache and glasses before I google "pictures of boobs"

stop wifing my email

launching a ship at that asteroid was pretty cool but you just know the CIA is already up there trying to sell it weapons to fire back

mastodon bug fucker? which one, I know a few

a fun part of being me is constantly misreading "tracker" as "fucker"

my desires are...unconventional

[bites into the middle of a hot dog, letting the two ends fall to the ground]

me every time I see a ghost: haha look, it's @victor

I'm thinking of a simpler time, when a late night talk show host could get guaranteed laughs just by saying "jeff gillooly"

smashed a thing into a big rock, who cares. call me when a delivery crew lands on the rock to plant a doomsday device but a senile old scientist put the clock on upside down

🎵 it means no worries
for the rest of your days🎵

[clearly, audibly vibrating] i'm chilling hbu

*kssshhhht* breaker breaker, we got a couple of echo bravos at 11 o'clock, requesting pronouns, over