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the main thing I learn when we have Discourse is that society is really bad at categorization

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I was going to delete all my bad toots but I decided it would be faster to delete both of the good ones and claim I'm doing some anti-comedy shit with the rest

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just stumbling and tripping and repeatedly knocking over this bucket of various heart emojis, hoping my screwball antics can cheer y'all up briefly

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just saw some jeopardy end credits that listed their use of a "stegosaurus photo"

Thanksgiving dinner 

Thanksgiving dinner, courtesy of the No Substitutions, Please team:

- ribeyes @nsmckinnon seasoned and @Louisa grilled to perfection;
- courtesy of Noah, the creamiest mashed potatoes in the known universe;
- a Caesar salad @MagicIsTheCause prepared, with spicy croutons and homemade dressing from Noah.

i don't care what anyone says. that is totally healyn's hair

what if ๐—ฌ๐—ข๐—จ ๐Ÿซต
made a joke about riding on down the ol' dusty trail atop your trusty horse admin

but the ๐—ต๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐˜€๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐—ฑ๐—บ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐ŸŽ said:
:neigh:ใ€Œ๐šœ๐šž๐š›๐š™๐š›๐š’๐šœ๐š’๐š—๐š๐š•๐šข ๐š›๐šŽ๐šŠ๐š•๐š’๐šœ๐š๐š’๐šŒ ๐š‘๐š˜๐š›๐šœ๐šŽ ๐š—๐š˜๐š’๐šœ๐šŽ๐šœ ใ€:neigh:

I would pay upwards of $10 for a way to automatically mute/block the accounts of anyone with a big twitter following

Responding to dour misanthropes by repeatedly mispronouncing nihilism just to see if they really don't think anything matters

๐ŸŽถ simply shidding
and farting all the time ๐ŸŽถ

on jorts it is 100% legal to say "i think it would be funny to chase a terf around with a shovel"

Jorts is proof u don't need the numbers when you've got the posters

Not to brag, but... all around the world statues crumble for me

@lennie it seems to include a lot of collective nouns for animals that famously refuse to be seen together. this fabled owl parliament has never met let alone passed a piece of legislation

New pinned post for new newsletter home, subscribe at and tell your friends, fuckos

I wrote about a movie where a lady does a bunch of dangerous stuff while she's asleep and my biggest concern is: isn't she cold? Please read SLEEPWALKING IN SUBURBIA, #DTMWaGL number 45 (!)

when I see my replies in my home TL before I see the post I replied to, well, that's chronology arrabiata
๐Ÿ˜˜ ๐Ÿ‘Œ

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Unstoppable shitposting engine.