s. pig's injured hammy (🐷) @pig@jorts.horse

SO THEN I SAYS TO THE GUY, I SAYS

al stronk 💪

Once I was drunk at a frat party and their fridge was locked and drunk me didn't like that so I literally ripped the door off its hinge to get to the food inside. Later the rumor was that it was a big burly dude but it was just me

@j997922 hands in a carhartt jacket, spitting on the autoshop floor, taking a sip of a black coffee before imitating the noise my kia was making and having my voice crack partway through

Alright I’m dressed and makeupd but I don’t have a full length mirror so like. Woops.

@Louisa argh, I'm sorry if I wear a lot of sense and I nailed it

The orchard has raspberries now!

if I were a cis white person, I would simply Listen To The People Who Are Affected By An Issue. rather than Forming My Own Opinion Based On What I Imagine The Issue Is Like

I'm babysitting tonight for some nice parents who want to go on date night so they can have some peace and quiet while they try to 69 in their car.

Since turning off the SFW lock, the autocorrect for swiped words can be pretty alarming

Anyways it's almost the time of year to go to the orchard for some assholes

it would be really cool to meet fedi friends. i live in #baltimore and i know all of like two people here but i wanna meet more folk who might have something in common with me

@burgin i only learned like a year ago that mormons used electricity

@j997922 friends i need to get into hijinks and your screams don’t matter

selling my soul to become a 150+ boost account by unblocking the blocked domains and catering to them in a single unfunny post that they will grin at like ugly yorkies that are trying to hide that they shat in the closet

Fun fact: each book scanned for the Internet Archive has a unique identifier, usually the title of the item, or its first 16 characters; the volume number, or 00 if there isn't one; and the first 4 characters of the author. So:

So glad the week is over

yesterday i was trying to photograph this shirt i bought recently! i’m a big fan of it