Alex P. 👹 @saddestrobots@jorts.horse
boring but in a fun way perhaps
Joined Dec 2022
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gonna collect all my dumbest #EldenRing posts in this thread…
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yet again,
i would like to move on to this part of the political process
Alex P. 👹
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Alex P. 👹
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also, let's not forget — this was the 90s, people were still buying their kids surprise presents from toy stores
so now tons of kids who were already playing the game had well-meaning family members giving them packs of really generic and useless cards, because how the fuck were they supposed to know it was the baby version with nothing good in it except for Sylvan Tutor?
there's a bunch of examples but just go with this one:
in mtg, when your opponent's creatures attack you, your creatures can "block" them
in Portal, your creatures "intercept" them instead
a whole team of people sat there and thought, "they'll learn the game better if we don't actually teach them the names of any of its action"
you know what was the absolute nadir of game design, just a colossal mistake that i can't believe nobody saw coming?
Magic: the Gathering — Portal
so netanyahu and ben-gvir are seriously making their own little brownshirts
Alex P. 👹
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he’s 13 feet long. he’s not even big. if a couple of orcas cruised through he’d be a small plate
so it turns out the vulva phrenologist lady also fingerblasted a cadaver
Alex P. 👹
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Every day is like "starting tomorrow only people who post ‘Elon is cool' will be eligible to have their tweets appear in English" and the entire press corps and all of my friends continue to post there like nothing has changed
Alex P. 👹
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glxgears would never lie to me
Alex P. 👹
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Just installed a new graphics card in my floor, what kind of RAM do you recommend for a mid century colonial?
Alex P. 👹
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Don't judge this. I also sleep with stuffies.
Alex P. 👹
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“I better not eat this bagel just in case it makes people think I’m on drugs and threaten to take my children.” Is not a thought someone living in a sane society would ever have.
Alex P. 👹
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Christian enough that liberal democracies enshrine and protect it as it actively seeks to destroy them. Next question.
wife watched "women talking" last night and hated it
says it's peak white feminism and deeply disrespectful to the women it pretends to depict
also stupid, it's just very stupid
brother corhyn: i love the noble goldmask! he's so cool! in a lifetime i will only be able to understand as much as he communicates with one twitch of his finger!
me: why's he all desiccated like that
brother corhyn: the noble goldmask is so pure in his asceticism that he can subsist on a single drop of rain
me: is he, tho? subsisting? he looks… dead?
brother corhyn: nonsense, hahaha, we talk all the time when *you're* not here. i'll have you know he tells me i'm his special friend EVERY DAY
sorceress sellen: yes! hell yes! sellen is BACK, baby! i'm the queen bitch of the academy and things are about to get ~super spicy~ up here! let's show that ethics review board who's boss!
[two hours later]
sellen: [cacophanous hell moan] ah… apprentice… it… seems… my… kata… mari… hypothesis… was… a… touch… flawed…
Alex P. 👹
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have you, or anyone you know, touched a computer? if so, you might be entitled to compensation.
Alex P. 👹
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Hey! Have YOU thought about netrunner, the GREATEST CARD GAME EVER MADE, but decided you didn't want to try it cause it was too hard to learn and practice?
Did you know there's a website where you can play practice games against an AI with full deckbuilding and a short but usable tutorial?
https://chiriboga.sifnt.net.au/
it's real! It's fuckin cool! Learn to play without even having to have me autistically explain the game to you!
boring but in a fun way perhaps
Joined Dec 2022
