gonna collect all my dumbest #EldenRing posts in this thread…
also, let's not forget — this was the 90s, people were still buying their kids surprise presents from toy stores
so now tons of kids who were already playing the game had well-meaning family members giving them packs of really generic and useless cards, because how the fuck were they supposed to know it was the baby version with nothing good in it except for Sylvan Tutor?
there's a bunch of examples but just go with this one:
in mtg, when your opponent's creatures attack you, your creatures can "block" them
in Portal, your creatures "intercept" them instead
a whole team of people sat there and thought, "they'll learn the game better if we don't actually teach them the names of any of its action"
brother corhyn: i love the noble goldmask! he's so cool! in a lifetime i will only be able to understand as much as he communicates with one twitch of his finger!
me: why's he all desiccated like that
brother corhyn: the noble goldmask is so pure in his asceticism that he can subsist on a single drop of rain
me: is he, tho? subsisting? he looks… dead?
brother corhyn: nonsense, hahaha, we talk all the time when *you're* not here. i'll have you know he tells me i'm his special friend EVERY DAY
sorceress sellen: yes! hell yes! sellen is BACK, baby! i'm the queen bitch of the academy and things are about to get ~super spicy~ up here! let's show that ethics review board who's boss!
[two hours later]
sellen: [cacophanous hell moan] ah… apprentice… it… seems… my… kata… mari… hypothesis… was… a… touch… flawed…
Hey! Have YOU thought about netrunner, the GREATEST CARD GAME EVER MADE, but decided you didn't want to try it cause it was too hard to learn and practice?
Did you know there's a website where you can play practice games against an AI with full deckbuilding and a short but usable tutorial?
https://chiriboga.sifnt.net.au/
it's real! It's fuckin cool! Learn to play without even having to have me autistically explain the game to you!
boring but in a fun way perhaps