How to wash your hands:

1) turn on hot water
2) wet hands
3) apply soap and lather
4) rinse hands in hot water
5) wow that waters getting hot fast
6) ok i think thats good
7) fuck missed a spot
8) fuck ow ow ow thats so hot
9) good enough

mario jump boosted

assimilation doesn't just force the assimilated to disown and hurt those deemed unacceptable and unassimilable, it forces people to carve away parts of themselves in order to become acceptable

so when liberals pull out the canard about assimilation not being that bad actually because eventually everyone gets included, the process of inclusion into a violent system is a violent process as well

mario jump boosted

@jk i love this rant and i would also like to propose this very bad idea:

1. data is now the singular

2. datae is now the plural

3. all people who studied latin at some point scream and shrivel up like a slug that's been covered in salt as we just yeet this innocent noun straight into being a different declention because fuck it, this is what you get for hanging around the english language too much you little noun, you knew this pain was coming!!! you knew!!!

4. ????

5. profit

mario jump boosted

mastodon really radicalized me into saying “owo” out loud

mario jump boosted
mario jump boosted

your right, it was south park that crushed the social justice movement in the united states

gave her that uwu poison call it strychnyan

fun life hack: since i live on a hill between two bus stops i actually walk downhill to work both ways. suck it gramdpa

mario jump boosted
mario jump boosted

@wintgenstein it’s very important to left unity that we do not alienate our comrades the bourgeoisie

mario jump boosted
mario jump boosted

people are all "we need more poc instances" but as soon as i announce the creation of everybody starts screaming NOT LIKE THAT and throwing rotten fruit at me

mario jump boosted long ago, the cancelled instances lived in harmony. but everything changed when they were asked nicely to stop being shitty

bro are you a zombie? you know you gotta tell me if youre a zombie otherwise its entrapment

mario jump boosted

Some yall need to grow up and do a few years in federal prison

the u word 

mario jump boosted

dipped my nuts in soy sauce. i dont think it worked but im not sure

Untitled goose game agdq speedrun at 630 pm EST tomorrow !!!

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Unstoppable shitposting engine.