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repeating "I haven't learned shit and I'm dumb as shit and I don't give a shit" in my head like a slightly off-kilter mantra of affirmation

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I am learning all these neato facts about myself, such as "shut up"

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me trying to make a funny post on here without alerting the reply guys on the federated timeline

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America is fucked up in a lot of ways but using Z instead of S in -ize was one of the better changes. S is a cuck letter and it deserves to be used less

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nailing the job interview by responding to "where do you see yourself in a year" with a cyberpunk 2020 character sheet

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way lewd you've been warned 

Damn I was having a normal night until I had to tell my friend she should ask my girlfriend what she's getting into before she asks me to throatfuck her

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fsf announcing rebrand to 'the open source guys'
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I put my face into the AI website and it called me selfish and myopic. But like, myopic in the literal sense, which is even LESS true

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Gotta update this now to add that once you've fought side by side in mech combat to the bitter end against an overwhelming foe, that's IT. Common internet queer law is coming for you oh god they're here at my door

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Negative opinion I probably don't need to post 

I don't trust people that worship children's TV and especially the people that make it

There's some point where you've been calling each other babe and hon and sweetheart and gorgeous and cutiepie for so long that you can't really claim you're NOT girlfriends even if you aren't actually in a relationship so all you can say is that you're not NOT together

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Common law marriage but for queer internet dating

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okay, which one of you assholes bet two dollars on "deadprem 2 announced on the nintendo direct" and won a small fortune

i'm a believer in Biggest Luke theory

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Boost this toot and I will tell you your level of divorced energy

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jorts.horse

Unstoppable shitposting engine.