mason @sweetmercury@jorts.horse

Going to a music festival in order to Bripe

what else do I envy my dog for?

- getting treats when she's a good girl
- getting to spend every day with me, a cool person
- being walked on a leash regularly

GOOGLE THIS ISNT HELPING

remember ten years ago when akon sung "im tryna find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful" and he settled on "thotzilla devourer of cummies"

25 years and approximately 10 months ago, an arbitrary configuration of physical particles convinced themselves that they're alive and conscious

many of those particles have been gone for a long time, even though they still exist

but the consciousness remains

i'm Ben Lubar, and humans are really fucking weird

Got a scam call for some auto accident, jokes on you bitch I know that ain’t me bc I’m too anxious to drive!!!

my dad pointing out a deer on our road trip

@matt hand on the wall like he needs balance

every cis het white male over the age of 30 loves to groan gutterally when taking a big piss

mars in leather
venus in furs

It’s a hot hot hot hot day in parts of North America. If you’re like me, your only access to cooling at home is something like a struggling window unit.

Libraries can be cooling stations if you can get to one. And they mostly won’t kick you out. They’re a place you can be and not buy anything. Keep safe if you can. 💜💜💜💜

lewds: nakey fun time
ludes: Methaqualone, a strong sedative

Some of you come here and talk about your life while protecting your privacy and then you go to work and some bozo is just like "hey Paul" and none of us ever know you're Paul

the closest experience i have ever had to being on mastodon is when i was like 16 and me and my sister would go on this neopets knockoff forum programmed by 13-year-old from vermont

Damn people love to shit on things, have y’all tried enjoying things instead? (Posting this so I can be demolished by the timeline)

— donation links to help me transition;
gofundme: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-ashley-villers-raise-money-for-top-surgery?utm_medium=copy_link&utm_source=customer&utm_campaign=p_na+share-sheet&rcid=2d8e6739ecc9433396dcca629961de8d
paypal: paypal.me/ashleyvillers
ko-fi: ko-fi.com/ashleymvillers
cash app: £AshleyMVillers

Heard joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says, "But doctor...The real clown is the Resident of the White House" #RESIST