mason boosted

boost if you give goths permission to pose and take photos on your grave after you die

mason boosted
mason boosted

me: working from home gives me the opportunity to focus on tasks free from the the distractions of a noisy office!

brain:

TROUT

TROUT

LET IT ALL OUT

THESE ARE THE FISH I CAN DO WITHOUT

SALMON

I’M TALKING TO YOU

SALMON

me: cool never mind

mason boosted

The misfits ____ your skull

mason boosted
mason boosted

We all loved the annoying orange until he moved into the WHITE HOUSE!!! BOOM!!! Haha I'll be here all night. You will never make me leave

mason boosted
mason boosted

Whichever one of you fucks has resumed your harrassment campaign of me:
Hey boo!! Thanks for letting me live rent free in your head, because landlords can get fucked. Also, take that shit back to Twitter you cowardly bitch. No one wants you here.

mason boosted

selfie, no ec, boost ok Show more

mason boosted

begging for money to avoid large overdraft fee Show more

mason boosted

Proud to work for a Terran harvesting coop that realizes the sunk cost fallacy of attempting to reclaim an infested ship full of "perfect xeno killing machines" and will nuke my colleagues and me in a heartbeat if we break quarantine.

It encourages self-starting, problem-solving, ensures the safety of my colleagues NOT on this creaking ship full of Teeth-in-Shadows (as we call them, colorfully) AND our union can negotiate a nice bonus if we survive this.

Thanks, GEMCORP LTD XXIX INC!

mason boosted

so beto o’rourke is basically the main character of slc punk right

mason boosted

Elon musk here, with a tube™ full of spaghetti™

mason boosted

The band CHVRCHES is pronounced like ‘Chevy Chase.’ Not a lot of people know this actually.

mason boosted

*sees a parishioner praying and weeping at the feet of a Virgin Mary statue* she’s not gonna fuck you dude

mason boosted

Hell yeah I've got clout

Crippling
Lanxiety and depression and just wanna have a break and have fun with friends
O
U
T

mason boosted
mason boosted

all of my friends here are influencers; they influence me to be a better person

mason boosted
mason boosted

Jeffy certainly seems to think my apartment is a piss restaurant

Show more
jorts.horse

Unstoppable shitposting engine.