mason boosted

Homophobia, The Beatles, McLennon 

mason boosted

"here's my two-factor authentication" i shout angrily before raising my fists.

knuckle tats:
P A S S
W O R D

mason boosted
mason boosted

selfie, no ec 

mason boosted

i wish i was joking but i live in constant terror of unwritten rules

mason boosted

i've somehow gone my whole life without ever ordering food delivery and now i'm afraid that if i try it i'll accidentally commit the kind of awful faux pas that causes people to make twitter threads about you

mason boosted

violence 

mason boosted

fitness adjacent but not really. 

mason boosted
mason boosted

my dick is visually and functionally identical to what you might call a "hammer". and i gotta tell you, I'm not exactly sure why, but my balls are starting to look an awful lot like nails!

mason boosted

Weds would like you all to know life as a pup is TERRIBLE just look at how uncomfortable she is `

mason boosted

US politics kick ass because they manage to drag a single election out over an entire year and every single person on earth gets to hear about twitter celebrities making comments like "state senator Fucks McGucket just spent THREE BILLION dollars on various yachts, retweet to send him to JAIL" about the controversial Iowa-Ohio Caucus Voting Gerrymandering Budget Bill nonstop for three hundred fucking days

mason boosted

I think they should call it COVFEFE-45, instead;;

mason boosted

covid, sex acts 

mason boosted

me, a genius landlord who got to the top of society by being deserving and smart: hmm, my tenants are circulating a flier about refusing to pay rent. i will simply send an email telling them to ignore it.

mason boosted

im crackin open a damn soda and posting online, on jorts.horse

mason boosted

a medical fetish shop in the UK donated its entire stock of disposable scrubs to a desperate NHS hospital which contacted them for help. so that's where the world is presently.

mason boosted

Radtown is down, post inflammatory takes: if you cut your jorts so that the pockets hang below the hem, you look like an actual clown

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jorts.horse

Unstoppable shitposting engine.