mason boosted

Badly need help Show more

mason boosted

All my best posts come from me having diarrhea on the toilet after eating ice cream

mason boosted

slapping my balls down on the table in a poker game as self care

*after being asked by Netflix if I’m still watching for the 5th time today*

“Anyone who contributes anything to society is a fuckin cop”

mason boosted

*Country music voice* “My ex wife took my left ball in the divorce, but I kept the truck”

mason boosted

did you know that the horse from old town road was a metaphor for heroin addiction

mason boosted

we grind to have a house that looks and smells like shit. we work all day and night to keep the dishes in the fucking sink and some pet hair on the hardwood floor. you know you wanna sleep on our couch with no blanket and a shitty square pillow

mason boosted

Biden will do a speech that's just him repeating variations on the phrase "God, remember when you could smoke on TV?" for twenty televised minutes while his aides frantically try and turn his pacemaker off so he'll pass out and stop talking

mason boosted
mason boosted

When you tell Mom and Dad you can't figure out where all those cigarette butts in the yard are coming from

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mason boosted

what if both of the women wanted to cut the baby in half. what then king solomon. do you just adopt it yourself or what

mason boosted

Go ahead and waste your time frivolous nonsense. I’ll be over here reading theory

mason boosted

Pics of me in a slightly risqué outfit, ec, selfie boosts +++ Show more

it’s supposed to be like joe biden but also JO Buds, I dunno Show more

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jorts.horse

Unstoppable shitposting engine.