Made my mother breakfast in bed today. Absolute disaster. Stove set fire to the duvet.

The vengabus is cumming
The bus has sperm, it's stunning
It gives you lots of rhythm
Abominable jism

In the worst thing ever said by a human, my wife just stood up to go to the toilet and said "time to make the donuts".

sports, transphobia Show more

*star of an animated movie who wants Sacha Baron Cohen to take the part of the main character's female spouse*

"Borat, voice my wife"

Food Show more

a Scottish New Japan Pro Wrestling shitposting account called Stoater Umino send toot

Oh, this was announced today. Themed anthology featuring a story from me about fear, gods, and politics: books.metaphorosis.com/antholo

These last two weeks have destroyed me at work. I packed, moved, and unpacked a library by myself. What the fuck.

Ian boosted

"The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians."

- Pat Robertson, predicting the creation of witches.live in 1992, while also crafting, still to this day, the single coolest-sounding argument for feminism ever recorded.

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jorts.horse

Unstoppable shitposting engine.