Ve̶ge̢ta̵bl͠e ͝G͏rem҉l̸įn @vegetablegremlin@jorts.horse
My heart feels like lead
Please god don’t let them do a season2 of good omens
Lol remember mogran spurlock
me in my 20s: dont' worry about it it's fine i appreciate the effort
me in my 30s: do you think this is a game
whew boy oh boy nothing has made me as ruthlessly unsympathetic and impatient to dads quite like being a single dad
if youve got a Dad Who Tries, and is like whoops i messed it up again, well, this is part of the learning process, bear in mind that people learn how to be doctors in eight years
how long has your dad been Trying
so i was hangin with coworks on friday night and it was, you know, regular,
then the next day the guy hosting it texts me apologizing on behalf of the other cowork who was makin a bunch of jokes about vegans, and i was like whatever i've got a thick rind
and then i was thinkin: you'd be cooler if you'd said something to him instead of me
and he's drinking some gravy
and still in the navy
and probably will be for life
it's been a hell of a thing as my dad gets old and stgarts winding down and knowing that the Dad Trying would definitively and conclusively never amount to much
for father's day i got my daughter a zelda game. i don't know how things work
five minutes in and im like yes
YES
god, hairspray is such a good movie
good morning if youv'e got dad problems im your dad now
pressure cooking some black beans, lads
bullshitting wiht my daughter and mention that "Mumen Rider" is a play on "Kamen Rider" and translates to "Licenseless Rider" and she says "Ah so he's the hero to cis people who can't commit arson" and I stared
oatmeal chat
1 cup steel cut oats
2 cup unsweetened coconut milk
a chopped apple or sliced banana or both whatever
wee li'l bit of salt
some cinnamon
bring to a boil and lower to a simmer, stir occasionally, 20 minutes
