Ve̶ge̢ta̵bl͠e ͝G͏rem҉l̸įn @vegetablegremlin@jorts.horse
Got hit up on tinder and I was like 99% sure they were scamming but that 1% was getting my brain’s entire attention
Until they asked me to hit up their cashapp
I am HORNY and I VOTE
some of us gentlemen still believe in the old ways of courtship because you're worth it
making the secret service groan audibly when i as president make them bring around the bicycle motorcade with the big dome that goes over the presidential bicycle
i love having a jar of pepperoncini on the counter. every time i walk by i'm like "don't mind if i do" and right then and there i am confirming i do not have one early symptom of covid along with the main character Riddick
youtube's got eveyrone talking about breatharianism and it's got me talking about how rice cookers are amazing https://youtu.be/RSTNhvDGbYI
Experiencing extreme discomfort having misunderstood the nature and administration of jalapeno poppers
I got half my teeth scaled and polished, they'll do the other half next monday, so now i've got one week to get me a coin and take down the bat man
thinking up a superhero who has the ability to hack his DNA and protein expressions to develop whatever attributes are necessary for a given challenge. I will call him Gene Hack Man
anyone capable of not spacing out and superimposing walk hard the dewey cox story over whatever biopic you try to watch anymore
The shirt above the butt was the colour of television, tuned to a dead channel
I just listened to this and am absolutely blown away, it's incredible https://youtu.be/srZdDAJbHfc
Swearwords do not exist
someone call the burn ward my teen is roasting tf out of me
if you ate some bad hands throw your hands up
