Pinned toot

I wish i was a little bit shorter
I wish i had some porter
I wish i had a wood burning artisanal pizza oven made of brick and morter

me being a terrible father Show more

Aw man someone on this train just gave me helluva smirk. I think she saw me getting wood while texting

squares: what are you rebelling against??
brando: whaddya got
squares: white supremacist capitalist patriarchy?
brando: no not that
squares: whew

i was gonna suss out more old person bits to post here but i threw my knee out this morning taking a shit

on reflection the more they destroy everything that was ever kind of interesting about the Joker the more i think maybe he was never really all that interesting a character anyway and instead it is mark hamill who owns

"why don't you just stop watching gotham"

"because it's TERRRRRIBLE"

my daughter was watching some zombie show which seemed to have a straightforward premise: there's one dude with a zombie immunity and they have to get him to science guys

then they bring in some psychic stuff

and then they apparently involve aliens

and she's like what the hell

and i'm like so all those years you made fun of me for watching shows that i keep saying are terrible, now you know

now you're Grown

[ in orbit around the planet you and your people have called home since forever ]

Federation: wow here we are wayyyyy out here at the very edge of our explored space. Wow this is really the sticks. Hey thanks for coming on.

Nerys: uh huh okay

Fed: We're calling this station "the ass end of nowhere 9"

Nerys: I'm standing right here

I do not know what the next Super Smash Brothers will be played with but the one after will be played with sticks and stones.

Oh what’s this? A new 6” kobo barely different from ones I already have? And it’s on sale???

throwback to last may when i ate way too many edibles and made these

biking in the cold and wondering why i'm even trying to not be fat.

energy stores and insulation come in handy on that ol cromoly horse

“A bicycle?” Amos leaned on the breakfast bar. “Sure. They don’t need fuel, they don’t get sick. Most of the repairs, you can handle on your own. You’re looking for post-apocalyptic transportation, bikes are the way to go.”

the second funniest part about the Pagliacci joke is that the doctor is abysmal. Imagine seeing this dude:

YOU: I have depression

DOCTOR: I dunno, go see a fuckin clown or something

:birdsite: Show more

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jorts.horse

Unstoppable shitposting engine.